As someone that does have a passion for videogames, I obviously pay close attention to reveals from Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, and any other company (still pulling for another Dreamcast). With Microsoft's Xbox One reveal, a lot of new information was immediately thrown upon us, as well as a new controversy for the Internet to get all kinds of upset with. Now I won't go into the details, since that isn't the point of this post, but it is easy to say that people are upset. This isn't the first time the Internet has blown up over something, especially videogame related, but I had a bit of an epiphany moment. As I was getting upset over comments that I disagreed with and thinking of possible ways to retort, a simple question went through my mind, "Why the hell do I care? Why do I care so deeply about the opinions of complete strangers? I will most likely NEVER meet these people in the real world, so why do their words (texts) cause such an emotional response?"
I believe a lot of it stems from the fact that the Internet is indeed bleeding over into reality. This is natural since we are becoming more dependent upon it, but like anything else that becomes a part of everyday living, it brings good and bad. Sadly, one of the bad things it brings is the way we are effected by what others say when it actually should have no effect on us. No matter how connected forums, social media, and other sites may try to connect us, the fact is that unless you've met the person and got to know them outside of the virtual world, they are strangers. In fact, I don't believe calling them strangers quite sums up what they are because a stranger implies that you actually saw them. This is at least how I view a stranger; someone that I saw but did not recognize or know from a previous time. With the Internet, that person may as well be fictional because no matter how "thorough" sites may claim to be, it is WAY too easy to create a completely fake person and life. All you need is a little creativity and any image search engine and you're good. I don't state this to seem overly negative, but to hopefully help people establish perspective. Just as we have to always remember that movies, shows, and videogames are fictional so that we don't begin to blur reality with fiction, we have to remember that "knowing" someone on the Internet is NOTHING like knowing someone in real life. It may sound like common sense, but it may surprise you the lack of people that are unaware of this.
Another reason we let comments get to us, I believe, stems from the fact that we don't have anything truly weighing us down. What I mean by this is that for the majority of us on the Internet, we are in industrialized countries that are not going through issues such as civil war, disease, or constant terror. With a lack of serious problems, we find more gravity to things like Internet comments that if we took a second to step back, we would realize that it doesn't mean much at all. It is also worth noting that should any of us go through a bad time in our lives, we suddenly tend to stop caring about Internet comments, which further proves my point that when it comes to the big picture, we should not care what others on the Internet say.
Now this is not a reason to become a tool online. We should try to be as civil as possible even though children trying to act tough does make this difficult, I know from experience. The point of this is that we should make sure our priorities are in order. So, for instance, if you like what the Xbox One has to offer and looking forward to what else is revealed, then don't let "Internet Strangers" bring you down with their views. If you disagree, then of course you can tell them how you feel, but just don't let it get to you. The real world has plenty of things that are out of your control trying to bring you down. The experience you have in the virtual world is 98%, give or take, under your control, so why should you be brought down there as well?
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Getting Stuck in a Conversation/Mood
This is a topic that has come across due to my own personal actions lately. What the title deals with is a particular conversation or mood that I would find myself resorting to whenever I was talking with close friends. In a nutshell, I would open up about my insecurities, doubts, and fears with my closest friends that I trusted. Of course, they were more than willing to listen and offer advice if I asked. We would grow closer as friends and learn from each other.
It would seem curious as to how something like that can be bad right? Well, it comes from constantly speaking on the same topic. Not only would I speak on the same topics, I would have the same emotion and mood every single time. Like a good friend would do, it was blown off at first. As time went on, my mood and emotion over the conversation would wear on them. We are all human, meaning that we only have so much patience to give on certain things. What this would lead to is friends accusing me of just complaining constantly and having no self-confidence. Now I won't go on some narcissistic like rant to make myself seem better, but after some serious thought over everything, I can honestly say that I cannot blame them for thinking that way.
As I thought it over, I realized that the complaining I was doing, and yes that would be the proper term for how I would get, is due to a comfort zone I created. Within this comfort zone, I was able to make my life seem somewhat better due to things being the fault of someone/something else, or I would get pity (unintentionally) from those listening to me. It came as a gut punch since I have a personal pet peeve about people who complain for attention or for the guaranteed pity. I strive to not be like that, so when I was told this, you can imagine how it struck me. They would explain that it never started off as complaining, but that is exactly what it evolved into over time. It is just like a joke; no matter how good it is, it will become annoying if said again and again. The same goes for a song, no matter how well made the lyrics and/or music.
What struck me the hardest was the fact that most of the things I would dwell on was from the past. In other words, things I can't change even if I wanted to. I would hide behind the past memories and experiences to explain things I would do presently. Now sometimes this would be true, because people are a product of past experiences, but the past cannot be my go-to excuse for my present actions. This would be the root cause of why I would be accused of having no self-confidence. I would complain about bad luck in the past so often that people began thinking that I must feel this way all the time. I discovered that my words were beginning to shape people's perception of me far more than my actions, and that is unacceptable.
I bring this up in a blog because I want to help those that may be in a similar situation. Whether it is due to creating a comfort zone, having an easy scapegoat, or just because it is force of habit, we cannot become stuck in the same conversation and mood with a topic. What goes from perhaps being a therapeutic experience of venting your feelings begins to shape your personality. It is like the old saying that if you're told a lie enough times, you'll begin to believe it. The same happens if you get stuck in a certain mood or conversation.
Also, if we are going to be perfectly blunt, having the same conversation all the time makes you pretty boring. If this is coupled with having the same emotion, people will avoid being around you since the emotion tends to be negative like anger, upset, depressed, ect. This isn't to say that they don't care about your situation, but if you never show improvement or any signs that you are trying to fix/move on from the situation, people will just flat out give up. Nobody wants to be the person that brings down a conversation just because a certain topic gets brought up.
I hope, if you are still reading, that this helped in some way. I know I'm going to try and change how I speak amongst friends. There is nothing wrong letting people in and revealing parts of yourself that not a lot of people get to know about, but we have to avoid getting stuck in one gear.
Remember, Don't Panic, and never forget your towel.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Answered Prayers on a Dime
Something that I have learned rather recently and feel the need to share is how quickly prayers can be answered. I know it sounds silly to say this because we pray expecting to be answered. The Bible makes it clear that we will be answered with either a yes, no, or wait. What I mean is how we don't expect a prayer to be answered in a quick fashion sometimes.
In my experience, I will give an issue up to prayer and kind of expect that a bit of time will pass before any of the three answers are given. Of course I know that God could easily answer the prayer as soon as the words/thoughts leave me, but i just developed a strange expectation. Yesterday, I had a prayer answered that I had only began prayer over earlier this week. It was an issue that I am currently dealing with in college and considering the pace that universities go, especially at the beginning of a new semester, I wasn't expecting responses or any sort of results for a couple of weeks. Instead, I now have a response and potential results depending on how future events unfold. To say I was taken off guard by how quickly things came together would be an understatement. I called my Father up quickly and told him what had occurred. He was happy to hear it. I instantly had nerves and doubts creeping into my mind. My Father then made a great point to me to get rid of those thoughts. He told me that I can't pray over something and be surprised when God answers it. I cannot do like Moses and begin thinking of excuses of why I can't go through with what was transpiring.
Due to this event, it got me thinking about other times I may have acted this way and how often Christians do this in their lives. We ask God to help us in some way, but when that help comes, we instantly try to make excuses of why we can't do things that way. This could stem from things like us not liking the form in which the help comes in, or perhaps the help comes along, but it involves us having to do something that we are either uncomfortable with or isn't a great strength of ours. Instead of being happy that God answered and decided to help, we find reasons to back away. I mention how quick the response may be because as a defensive mechanism, if a solution comes along that we believe came "too quickly" or may seem "too good to be true," we discard it. We need to remember that as Christians, we walk by faith in things unseen. God answers prayers, and we need to recognize when He has. We also need to recognize that even if the answer does not come in a form that we wanted or a form that we are not use to, that does not discredit it or suddenly not make it a response from God.
If anything, this is something that both our minds, and Satan, uses to make sure we doubt ourselves. So, don't be afraid to pray for ANYTHING, but also be aware of what could be God's response to that prayer. If we pass it up, we could be missing out on great opportunities and/or chances to quickly and painlessly deal with the issue.
Now on a more personal/blog related note. I do have quite a few views on this blog, so that means there are several people that do read this or my stats would remain very low. To anyone that is still reading at this point, what is a topic that you would like for me to write on? Keep the topics within reason (I know the weird people out there) since I am obviously not going to do anything that is either extremely sexual or a topic that could be morally compromising. I could talk of the current NFL playoffs, the big news about the Kings moving to Seattle in the NBA, the latest noteworthy stories in gaming, something political, or even something to do with Christianity. I would like to leave the topic up to those that read these posts. Comment on what you'd like to see me speak on, or know my opinion about, and I will do my best to make an entertaining and satisfying read.
In my experience, I will give an issue up to prayer and kind of expect that a bit of time will pass before any of the three answers are given. Of course I know that God could easily answer the prayer as soon as the words/thoughts leave me, but i just developed a strange expectation. Yesterday, I had a prayer answered that I had only began prayer over earlier this week. It was an issue that I am currently dealing with in college and considering the pace that universities go, especially at the beginning of a new semester, I wasn't expecting responses or any sort of results for a couple of weeks. Instead, I now have a response and potential results depending on how future events unfold. To say I was taken off guard by how quickly things came together would be an understatement. I called my Father up quickly and told him what had occurred. He was happy to hear it. I instantly had nerves and doubts creeping into my mind. My Father then made a great point to me to get rid of those thoughts. He told me that I can't pray over something and be surprised when God answers it. I cannot do like Moses and begin thinking of excuses of why I can't go through with what was transpiring.
Due to this event, it got me thinking about other times I may have acted this way and how often Christians do this in their lives. We ask God to help us in some way, but when that help comes, we instantly try to make excuses of why we can't do things that way. This could stem from things like us not liking the form in which the help comes in, or perhaps the help comes along, but it involves us having to do something that we are either uncomfortable with or isn't a great strength of ours. Instead of being happy that God answered and decided to help, we find reasons to back away. I mention how quick the response may be because as a defensive mechanism, if a solution comes along that we believe came "too quickly" or may seem "too good to be true," we discard it. We need to remember that as Christians, we walk by faith in things unseen. God answers prayers, and we need to recognize when He has. We also need to recognize that even if the answer does not come in a form that we wanted or a form that we are not use to, that does not discredit it or suddenly not make it a response from God.
If anything, this is something that both our minds, and Satan, uses to make sure we doubt ourselves. So, don't be afraid to pray for ANYTHING, but also be aware of what could be God's response to that prayer. If we pass it up, we could be missing out on great opportunities and/or chances to quickly and painlessly deal with the issue.
Now on a more personal/blog related note. I do have quite a few views on this blog, so that means there are several people that do read this or my stats would remain very low. To anyone that is still reading at this point, what is a topic that you would like for me to write on? Keep the topics within reason (I know the weird people out there) since I am obviously not going to do anything that is either extremely sexual or a topic that could be morally compromising. I could talk of the current NFL playoffs, the big news about the Kings moving to Seattle in the NBA, the latest noteworthy stories in gaming, something political, or even something to do with Christianity. I would like to leave the topic up to those that read these posts. Comment on what you'd like to see me speak on, or know my opinion about, and I will do my best to make an entertaining and satisfying read.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Literature, Theatre, Cinema, and Video Games?
The topic of video games and how they should be labeled has been quite a hot topic. In fact, this has been such a hot topic that when brought before the supreme court, they decreed that they are protected speech via the 1st amendment. This is significant since that is what cinema, theatre, and literature is also covered by. Now the other three areas are considered art. Video games have been, and still are, fighting to have this same moniker. It is quite a unique case when you sit down and look at a medium that does have artistic qualities to it (just look at the beauty of the landscape in some of those games) but unlike the other mediums, video games are 100% entertainment. What I mean by this is that even games that are meant to teach or have possible academic aspects to it, like Portal, entertainment is still the number one issue at hand. No matter how educational or factual a game may be, if it isn't entertaining, it will not be successful.
Within cinema, there are documentaries that serve the purpose to inform and/or persuade on a certain topic. Theater has specific styles (like Brecht Epic Theatre) that puts the importance of an issue over the entertainment that an audience may have. Literature has both fiction and non-fiction books that deal with issues and discusses them in ways that get people to talk. If anyone has ever read Fahrenheit 451, you know that it deals with how easily manipulated the world is when books are all destroyed since people are not provoked to think. That is what the three mentioned mediums can do and have done over the years. Video games struggle with the art debate because of the fact that, like I said earlier, entertainment is the core.
Where video games have gained steam in the debate is the fact that games have been made that provokes thought. It may not deal with topical issues, but the games force you to think about the morality and the overall ripple effect decisions may have. The best examples are the Mass Effect games and the episodic games of The Walking Dead. Neither of these games are set in everyday circumstances or dealing with current issues facing oppressed groups or economics. Where people get hooked is the fact that these games deal with the issue of trying to be moral in the face of an overwhelming task where taking moral shortcuts, such as stepping on/screwing over people, are very tempting since they make the current objective so much easier. The long term consequences of taking the shortcuts can be minor, or the reason why you end up losing a key member of your group, to even the death of the character you control. Mass Effect deals with this on a grand scale to where a few decisions you make could decide the fate of an entire planet. The game deals with a scenario that people cannot relate with of being a super-soldier that is tasked with preparing and defending the universe against a threat that could wipe everyone and everything out. People can relate to things like the relationships, the hardships Shepard faces as he talks to different races that have long standing issues (some are similar to racial issues), and just being an underdog the entire time.
The Walking Dead games takes a much different approach. You are Lee Everett, who was on on his way to jail for murder when the outbreak occurred. Although the zombie apocalypse is something we cannot relate to (not matter how much people may want to), we can relate to a guy who has hit rock-bottom like Lee and is just trying to redeem himself. We can also relate to his struggles with trying to band people together under tough circumstances and keep the very dysfunctional group from breaking.
These two games are extremely thought provoking and 2 of the games/franchises people point towards when making the argument for video games as art. The biggest thing that games have going for them is the fact that unlike in the other three mentioned mediums, the person playing the game "experiences" what happens. Since we are the ones shooting, deciding, planning, and picking the speech lines, it feels like we are the ones pushing the story along. In a sense, we are, but of course at the same time, the story gets pushed along as the developers wanted it. Still, plot twists, such as the amazing "Would You Kindly" phrase in Bioshock 1 hit on a personal level since it effects "us," the person we're controlling. Since we put the hours of time into them, we feel an attachment to them that just is not felt in the other mediums. This does not mean that we don't feel anything should something tragic happen to a character in the other mediums, but it has a special sting when it is a character that we took the time to "bond" with in a video game.
Because of this, I personally believe that video games can be art. Are there games out there that are not art in any definition of the word? Of course, but there are books, movies, plays, and music that are the exact same way. There is always bad with the good. Video games, I believe, capture the thought provoking through a different means. I don't know if I could elevate games to the same level as books, but I believe they can still impact a person in a similar way that a great book can. I think as video games evolve, the case for them to be considered art will be stronger since the story elements of games have been strengthening over the years. As I said, I don't know if I could put them on the same level as theatre, film, and literature since I have never seen a video game cause a dramatic shift in the thought process of people or cause a new movement, but I believe that they can be in the conversation of art that provokes thought and emotion.
As with any controversial topic, one opinion will not sway it one way or the other, so that was not the point of this. I wanted to basically give my two cents and see what people think. To anyone still reading this, what do you think? Are video games art? If yes, should they be put on the same level as books, film, and theatre?
And remember, Don't Panic, and never forget your towel.
Within cinema, there are documentaries that serve the purpose to inform and/or persuade on a certain topic. Theater has specific styles (like Brecht Epic Theatre) that puts the importance of an issue over the entertainment that an audience may have. Literature has both fiction and non-fiction books that deal with issues and discusses them in ways that get people to talk. If anyone has ever read Fahrenheit 451, you know that it deals with how easily manipulated the world is when books are all destroyed since people are not provoked to think. That is what the three mentioned mediums can do and have done over the years. Video games struggle with the art debate because of the fact that, like I said earlier, entertainment is the core.
Where video games have gained steam in the debate is the fact that games have been made that provokes thought. It may not deal with topical issues, but the games force you to think about the morality and the overall ripple effect decisions may have. The best examples are the Mass Effect games and the episodic games of The Walking Dead. Neither of these games are set in everyday circumstances or dealing with current issues facing oppressed groups or economics. Where people get hooked is the fact that these games deal with the issue of trying to be moral in the face of an overwhelming task where taking moral shortcuts, such as stepping on/screwing over people, are very tempting since they make the current objective so much easier. The long term consequences of taking the shortcuts can be minor, or the reason why you end up losing a key member of your group, to even the death of the character you control. Mass Effect deals with this on a grand scale to where a few decisions you make could decide the fate of an entire planet. The game deals with a scenario that people cannot relate with of being a super-soldier that is tasked with preparing and defending the universe against a threat that could wipe everyone and everything out. People can relate to things like the relationships, the hardships Shepard faces as he talks to different races that have long standing issues (some are similar to racial issues), and just being an underdog the entire time.
The Walking Dead games takes a much different approach. You are Lee Everett, who was on on his way to jail for murder when the outbreak occurred. Although the zombie apocalypse is something we cannot relate to (not matter how much people may want to), we can relate to a guy who has hit rock-bottom like Lee and is just trying to redeem himself. We can also relate to his struggles with trying to band people together under tough circumstances and keep the very dysfunctional group from breaking.
These two games are extremely thought provoking and 2 of the games/franchises people point towards when making the argument for video games as art. The biggest thing that games have going for them is the fact that unlike in the other three mentioned mediums, the person playing the game "experiences" what happens. Since we are the ones shooting, deciding, planning, and picking the speech lines, it feels like we are the ones pushing the story along. In a sense, we are, but of course at the same time, the story gets pushed along as the developers wanted it. Still, plot twists, such as the amazing "Would You Kindly" phrase in Bioshock 1 hit on a personal level since it effects "us," the person we're controlling. Since we put the hours of time into them, we feel an attachment to them that just is not felt in the other mediums. This does not mean that we don't feel anything should something tragic happen to a character in the other mediums, but it has a special sting when it is a character that we took the time to "bond" with in a video game.
Because of this, I personally believe that video games can be art. Are there games out there that are not art in any definition of the word? Of course, but there are books, movies, plays, and music that are the exact same way. There is always bad with the good. Video games, I believe, capture the thought provoking through a different means. I don't know if I could elevate games to the same level as books, but I believe they can still impact a person in a similar way that a great book can. I think as video games evolve, the case for them to be considered art will be stronger since the story elements of games have been strengthening over the years. As I said, I don't know if I could put them on the same level as theatre, film, and literature since I have never seen a video game cause a dramatic shift in the thought process of people or cause a new movement, but I believe that they can be in the conversation of art that provokes thought and emotion.
As with any controversial topic, one opinion will not sway it one way or the other, so that was not the point of this. I wanted to basically give my two cents and see what people think. To anyone still reading this, what do you think? Are video games art? If yes, should they be put on the same level as books, film, and theatre?
And remember, Don't Panic, and never forget your towel.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
The Difference a Year Makes
With the new year upon us, we usually take time to reflect on what has occurred both around and to us. For myself, I would normally just think about the great times I've had with family and friends. While this still happened, I think upon today, December 30th, as the one year anniversary of when my father was ran over by a truck in the parking lot of Starbucks and began a journey of recovery that is ongoing to this day.
The (extremely) short version of the story is that my father's blood sugar was incredibly low at 36. (For those of you that aren't aware, that is dangerously low to the point of a possible diabetic coma.) He was not acting right at all. Somehow, he drove himself to Starbucks to get a coffee and a bagel to raise his blood sugar since he knew how low he was. When leaving, he misjudged the height of the curb (low blood sugar leads to depth perception issues) and fell. As he was slowly getting up, a large truck ran him over. He was taken to the ICU at the hospital where he would end up spending six weeks before being able to come home. This wasn't the end as he would stay in a hospital bed that was at his home for several more weeks while working on rehab. Although he can move around fine today, he still goes to a gym and swims laps to build up strength in his body.
I was eating dinner with friends when I was told of this news. I could not even comprehend what I was told. You hear about tragic events all the time, but it has a whole new sting when the event happens to a loved one. That first night...I honestly did not know if my father would still be alive that morning. I can honestly say I cried myself to sleep that night. My pillow was soaked as I prayed constantly through sobs for my father to be okay and pull through. This event would be how my family brought in the new year of 2012.
A couple of days later, while trying to see if my college had any sort of grants or hardships for me since my father would be unable to work, I found out that I filled out my FASFA incorrectly. By clicking the wrong answer on ONE question, the school would have to look over all of my financial aid to see if I would be able to keep any of it. (Except the scholarship since that is based on my GPA) I was at a complete loss for words. Not only was my father in critical condition in the hospital, I could very easily lose all my aid for school (causing me to leave due to expenses) and perhaps even OWE the school money for previous semesters I received aid under the wrong information.
I still went to school since the financial aid office told me that they would not make a decision on my enrollment status until a few weeks into the semester. I go to college four states away from my hometown and I was driving alone. It was the hardest trip I have ever taken. Although everyone in my family, including my dad when he was awake, said I had to go to school, I still felt like I was abandoning my family in their hour of need. I was reassured that the best way to help my dad would be to go to school. Even my dad told me that I could not give up school for him and that he would make it. To anyone that is reading this...I honestly pray that you NEVER have to feel like I did as I put nearly 1000 miles between myself and my family as they dealt with this tragic event. I offered to take a semester off and get a full-time job so that money would not be an issue, but they insisted I go back to school.
Fast forward about three months. God rained blessings down upon me and my family. My father, although he broke many bones, had no organs punctured, and with rehab, would be able to recover. My financial aid was working itself out as well. I would not owe the school for past semesters and although I did lose some aid, it was very manageable. I did have one last hurdle as my girlfriend, that I had dated for over a year, and I broke up. Now I know that may not stack as high as nearly losing the life of my father, but I truly loved her, so I had heartache once again.
Needless to say, I was very happy for summer. Having schoolwork on top of all of those issues is a burden that I have not experienced before. I was physically, mentally, and even spiritually exhausted by the time I finished my finals and left the campus. I saw my dad during spring break, so I had visual confirmation of the progress he was making health wise, but I wanted to be at home to help. By this time in his rehab, he was able to care for himself on most things, but it felt like I was making up for the four months that I wasn't there and I owed both him and my mother. I also was getting away from the campus where I dealt with all the financial aid issues and with my ex-girlfriend, so that was a comforting thought for me.
I share these events and memories because as I stated earlier, today marks one complete year since all of this began. I do not, repeat DO NOT, mention these things as a means to build myself up. If anything, these events I share show the grace of God and his amazing strength as a family banded together. It taught me how to work through adversity since I wanted to give up on school MANY times throughout that semester and only through the encouragement of my family and friends I continued on. 2012 was a hard year for hundreds of people with the Colorado shooting, Newtown shooting, Oregon shooting, and numerous other crimes and tragedies that took place. People dealt with loss of loved ones, the healing process of wounds, and the seemingly impossible task to be able to still go on with life both during and after the mourning.
As 2013 approaches, I want anyone that has read down to this part to hug your loved ones. Make sure that anyone that truly matters to you knows this because tragedy does not take a day off. If there is truly one thing that everything that occurred over the course of 2012 taught me, it is that Robert Frost's famous response when asked how to sum up life is incredibly true, "It goes on." I want to personally add to this with something that my father has begun to tell me. He quotes from the Bible when it says, "This too shall pass," meaning that no matter how bad things may seem or get, it will pass. On the other side of every storm is clear skies and the sun ready to shine down and dry you off.
For those that read this, I thank you for hearing a piece of my story. Always lean on God during the good and the bad times. I know I typically don't get personal in the other topics I post about, but this is something that I felt that needed to be said since I know others have gone through similar struggles. God Bless, and have a great new year!
The (extremely) short version of the story is that my father's blood sugar was incredibly low at 36. (For those of you that aren't aware, that is dangerously low to the point of a possible diabetic coma.) He was not acting right at all. Somehow, he drove himself to Starbucks to get a coffee and a bagel to raise his blood sugar since he knew how low he was. When leaving, he misjudged the height of the curb (low blood sugar leads to depth perception issues) and fell. As he was slowly getting up, a large truck ran him over. He was taken to the ICU at the hospital where he would end up spending six weeks before being able to come home. This wasn't the end as he would stay in a hospital bed that was at his home for several more weeks while working on rehab. Although he can move around fine today, he still goes to a gym and swims laps to build up strength in his body.
I was eating dinner with friends when I was told of this news. I could not even comprehend what I was told. You hear about tragic events all the time, but it has a whole new sting when the event happens to a loved one. That first night...I honestly did not know if my father would still be alive that morning. I can honestly say I cried myself to sleep that night. My pillow was soaked as I prayed constantly through sobs for my father to be okay and pull through. This event would be how my family brought in the new year of 2012.
A couple of days later, while trying to see if my college had any sort of grants or hardships for me since my father would be unable to work, I found out that I filled out my FASFA incorrectly. By clicking the wrong answer on ONE question, the school would have to look over all of my financial aid to see if I would be able to keep any of it. (Except the scholarship since that is based on my GPA) I was at a complete loss for words. Not only was my father in critical condition in the hospital, I could very easily lose all my aid for school (causing me to leave due to expenses) and perhaps even OWE the school money for previous semesters I received aid under the wrong information.
I still went to school since the financial aid office told me that they would not make a decision on my enrollment status until a few weeks into the semester. I go to college four states away from my hometown and I was driving alone. It was the hardest trip I have ever taken. Although everyone in my family, including my dad when he was awake, said I had to go to school, I still felt like I was abandoning my family in their hour of need. I was reassured that the best way to help my dad would be to go to school. Even my dad told me that I could not give up school for him and that he would make it. To anyone that is reading this...I honestly pray that you NEVER have to feel like I did as I put nearly 1000 miles between myself and my family as they dealt with this tragic event. I offered to take a semester off and get a full-time job so that money would not be an issue, but they insisted I go back to school.
Fast forward about three months. God rained blessings down upon me and my family. My father, although he broke many bones, had no organs punctured, and with rehab, would be able to recover. My financial aid was working itself out as well. I would not owe the school for past semesters and although I did lose some aid, it was very manageable. I did have one last hurdle as my girlfriend, that I had dated for over a year, and I broke up. Now I know that may not stack as high as nearly losing the life of my father, but I truly loved her, so I had heartache once again.
Needless to say, I was very happy for summer. Having schoolwork on top of all of those issues is a burden that I have not experienced before. I was physically, mentally, and even spiritually exhausted by the time I finished my finals and left the campus. I saw my dad during spring break, so I had visual confirmation of the progress he was making health wise, but I wanted to be at home to help. By this time in his rehab, he was able to care for himself on most things, but it felt like I was making up for the four months that I wasn't there and I owed both him and my mother. I also was getting away from the campus where I dealt with all the financial aid issues and with my ex-girlfriend, so that was a comforting thought for me.
I share these events and memories because as I stated earlier, today marks one complete year since all of this began. I do not, repeat DO NOT, mention these things as a means to build myself up. If anything, these events I share show the grace of God and his amazing strength as a family banded together. It taught me how to work through adversity since I wanted to give up on school MANY times throughout that semester and only through the encouragement of my family and friends I continued on. 2012 was a hard year for hundreds of people with the Colorado shooting, Newtown shooting, Oregon shooting, and numerous other crimes and tragedies that took place. People dealt with loss of loved ones, the healing process of wounds, and the seemingly impossible task to be able to still go on with life both during and after the mourning.
As 2013 approaches, I want anyone that has read down to this part to hug your loved ones. Make sure that anyone that truly matters to you knows this because tragedy does not take a day off. If there is truly one thing that everything that occurred over the course of 2012 taught me, it is that Robert Frost's famous response when asked how to sum up life is incredibly true, "It goes on." I want to personally add to this with something that my father has begun to tell me. He quotes from the Bible when it says, "This too shall pass," meaning that no matter how bad things may seem or get, it will pass. On the other side of every storm is clear skies and the sun ready to shine down and dry you off.
For those that read this, I thank you for hearing a piece of my story. Always lean on God during the good and the bad times. I know I typically don't get personal in the other topics I post about, but this is something that I felt that needed to be said since I know others have gone through similar struggles. God Bless, and have a great new year!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
We Love to Hate
If the title seems right to the point, that is on purpose. It will help me in getting my point across if you know right from the start what I'll be getting at.
When I say we love to hate, I mean it. I believe that there are many reasons behind this, but at the end of the day, it is quite a phenomenon to watch people flock to something to hate on it. Now this hatred can be applied to anything; from TV shows, movies, people of all types/professions, music, and even videogames. Anything is fair game, and if you are of dissenting opinion, just prepare yourself for the firestorm that will be awaiting you.
Now one of the reasons I believe this takes place is the fact that we have to have something to hate. This may sound strange initially, but it should make sense. People never seem satisfied either liking something or disliking something. That dislike has to turn into hatred, it can't just stay as dislike to where the person just ignores it. This is how issues get blown up into proportions that should never be touched. For those involved in the hating, it seems perfectly logically when you are going over-the-top with insults and slurs towards people/groups/events, but to those of us outside it, it looks completely idiotic.
Another reason is the fact that hating is so much easier to do, especially on the Internet. On the Internet, we can abandon all forms of politeness, manners, and just all around good behavior in favor of the exact opposite. As I discussed in an earlier blog, this stems from the fact that we are anonymous on the Internet, so there is rarely, if ever, consequences to what we say. With this freedom in hand, we go to such great lengths to hate and abuse. This of course makes hating so much easier than liking, defending, or just ignoring all together. Also, when you combine that with the mob like mentality that people have when hating, choosing to do the same as them is made even easier since it avoids conflict.
Are there times when being upset and vocalizing your opinion is important? Of course there is, but there is a limit even then. There is a fine line between voicing displeasure over something and suddenly threatening the lives of the people, and their families, involved. This may seem a bit vague, so I will use an example.
My example is with videogames. One of the best to use since it still gets brought up for reasons I've stopped trying to imagine, is Resident Evil 5. As one can guess, this is a sequel to a franchise called Resident Evil. The games are based on survival horror, which is exactly as it sounds, just with zombies. The previous game, Resident Evil 4, was a huge success. Reviewers loved it, gamers loved it, and apparently if you were to ask some people, God himself shed a few tears over it. RE5 was loved as well...at first. This game focused more on action and co-op than horror, though there were still times of horror, just spread out. Where the hate came from was people complaining about the lack of horror. Now this is a fine complaint since there of course will be people who dislike a game no matter what. (Just ask Mario) Where the hate got strange was seeing how just mentioning RE5 in an online conversation would result in yelling matches, or pure caps lock, that never went anywhere. People claim it is the worst game ever made, not just the worst in the series, but the worst EVER. They can go on rants that would tire out even the best public speakers to support themselves and/or bash those that think otherwise.
I bring this up because if you break it down, 90% of the hatred can be boiled down to the 2 reasons I listed earlier. Since RE4 was so universally liked, and because most of the people most likely never played the 3 before that one, RE5 gave them something to hate. With something to hate and the freedom of the Internet at their disposal, they were able to vocalize their dislike as it slowly turned to hatred. As more people joined in, either because they felt the same or because it gave them a chance to fit in, the hate grew until you had a great number of people. For those of us that did like the game, we were quickly targeted and bashed heavily. Now when you see what people say, it has reached the point of absolute idiocy. Maybe I was just taught differently, but when I dislike/hate something, I don't talk about it. I don't go and complain on anything and everything that deals with whatever I don't like.
I know this blog will not suddenly stop pointless hating because as the title says, we love it too much. As I read on an article, there are 4 things that the Internet will ALWAYS love to do/talk about.
4. Ruining childhoods/making great discoveries about childhood things
3. Anything cat related
2. Porn
1. Complaining/hating (Yes, I did place it above porn. That should tell you how much people like it.)
My goal is to make awareness of such things. If you're like me, you have found yourself hating something that you have no clue as to why you're hating it. Perhaps, like me, you just get way to riled up over something that is no big deal. Whatever it is, hopefully this helped in lowering a touch of the hate out there because there sure is enough to last several lifetimes.
When I say we love to hate, I mean it. I believe that there are many reasons behind this, but at the end of the day, it is quite a phenomenon to watch people flock to something to hate on it. Now this hatred can be applied to anything; from TV shows, movies, people of all types/professions, music, and even videogames. Anything is fair game, and if you are of dissenting opinion, just prepare yourself for the firestorm that will be awaiting you.
Now one of the reasons I believe this takes place is the fact that we have to have something to hate. This may sound strange initially, but it should make sense. People never seem satisfied either liking something or disliking something. That dislike has to turn into hatred, it can't just stay as dislike to where the person just ignores it. This is how issues get blown up into proportions that should never be touched. For those involved in the hating, it seems perfectly logically when you are going over-the-top with insults and slurs towards people/groups/events, but to those of us outside it, it looks completely idiotic.
Another reason is the fact that hating is so much easier to do, especially on the Internet. On the Internet, we can abandon all forms of politeness, manners, and just all around good behavior in favor of the exact opposite. As I discussed in an earlier blog, this stems from the fact that we are anonymous on the Internet, so there is rarely, if ever, consequences to what we say. With this freedom in hand, we go to such great lengths to hate and abuse. This of course makes hating so much easier than liking, defending, or just ignoring all together. Also, when you combine that with the mob like mentality that people have when hating, choosing to do the same as them is made even easier since it avoids conflict.
Are there times when being upset and vocalizing your opinion is important? Of course there is, but there is a limit even then. There is a fine line between voicing displeasure over something and suddenly threatening the lives of the people, and their families, involved. This may seem a bit vague, so I will use an example.
My example is with videogames. One of the best to use since it still gets brought up for reasons I've stopped trying to imagine, is Resident Evil 5. As one can guess, this is a sequel to a franchise called Resident Evil. The games are based on survival horror, which is exactly as it sounds, just with zombies. The previous game, Resident Evil 4, was a huge success. Reviewers loved it, gamers loved it, and apparently if you were to ask some people, God himself shed a few tears over it. RE5 was loved as well...at first. This game focused more on action and co-op than horror, though there were still times of horror, just spread out. Where the hate came from was people complaining about the lack of horror. Now this is a fine complaint since there of course will be people who dislike a game no matter what. (Just ask Mario) Where the hate got strange was seeing how just mentioning RE5 in an online conversation would result in yelling matches, or pure caps lock, that never went anywhere. People claim it is the worst game ever made, not just the worst in the series, but the worst EVER. They can go on rants that would tire out even the best public speakers to support themselves and/or bash those that think otherwise.
I bring this up because if you break it down, 90% of the hatred can be boiled down to the 2 reasons I listed earlier. Since RE4 was so universally liked, and because most of the people most likely never played the 3 before that one, RE5 gave them something to hate. With something to hate and the freedom of the Internet at their disposal, they were able to vocalize their dislike as it slowly turned to hatred. As more people joined in, either because they felt the same or because it gave them a chance to fit in, the hate grew until you had a great number of people. For those of us that did like the game, we were quickly targeted and bashed heavily. Now when you see what people say, it has reached the point of absolute idiocy. Maybe I was just taught differently, but when I dislike/hate something, I don't talk about it. I don't go and complain on anything and everything that deals with whatever I don't like.
I know this blog will not suddenly stop pointless hating because as the title says, we love it too much. As I read on an article, there are 4 things that the Internet will ALWAYS love to do/talk about.
4. Ruining childhoods/making great discoveries about childhood things
3. Anything cat related
2. Porn
1. Complaining/hating (Yes, I did place it above porn. That should tell you how much people like it.)
My goal is to make awareness of such things. If you're like me, you have found yourself hating something that you have no clue as to why you're hating it. Perhaps, like me, you just get way to riled up over something that is no big deal. Whatever it is, hopefully this helped in lowering a touch of the hate out there because there sure is enough to last several lifetimes.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Politics and the Media
Now I know that in the world with the Internet, mentioning politics is like having a dirty bomb on the lawn of the White House, nothing good will come out of it. I also know that most people that read this post after seeing the title will think I'm about to go pro-liberal, conservative, democrat, republican, or whatever, but the fact is I'm tired of all sides. The media is also on my list because of how close politics and the media tends to be. Also for the fact that I want to shed light on something rather important, and that is how most issues that people become passionate about issues is due to the attention the media gives it and people are simply unaware of this.
Now, the reason I am tired of all sides in politics is due to the fact that both sides are exactly the same. I know this sounds like blasphemy to people on either side because "I can't be like them!" and that kind of helps in proving my point. Both sides are so bent on being so different, if not the exact opposite, that all they ended up doing is having the exact same stories, just conveniently switching some of the dialogue or circumstances so it fits with their agenda. The biggest way I've seen this is when you ask them why things are in the current state they're in. Their explanations will nearly be identical except for who the ultimate person responsible for the situation is. For two sides claiming to be intellectual, they sure aren't living up to that moniker.
The true irony from the division comes from what George Washington said after his 2 terms as President ended. He warned against political parties because they would divide the nation. He looks like a prophet cause American History is full of division due to political parties, and it only worsens today now that people have flocked to the Internet as a new means of pushing their ideals down other people's throat. (Both sides are guilty of this) Political parties, to be fair, are necessary because the people running for election have to have a backing of some kind, but my focus is how divided it makes everyone as compared to what the parties should be doing; working together towards the same goal.
Now I mention the media because they will turn a story that is no big deal into the biggest thing to happen since Jesus Christ came down to Earth. I do put a big amount of blame on the media itself because they are the ones that make the stories, but I believe the majority of the blame goes upon the people because if they didn't tune in, the ratings would go down, and the media would move onto something else. I say media instead of the news because the Internet does fall under the umbrella term of media and the Internet is just as, if not more, guilty than any news outlet. The biggest, and most recent example, is the whole Chick-fil-a fiasco. The CEO of the company gets asked a simple question, gives a simple answer, and now he is being accused of hate crimes like this is the second coming of Westboro Baptist Church.
Now I don't know how people have been raised, I can only truly vouch for myself, but growing up I was taught that you don't assume things about people. There are 2 simple reasons for this: 1. You wouldn't want the same thing being done to you, 2. You end up turning someone into something they aren't. The sad thing is that is exactly what people have done to not just the CEO, but to everyone that works at Chick-fil-a period. Simple employees have been labeled bigots, homophobes, and other far meaner things depending on their gender. As much as I roll my eyes at this entire situation, it also bugs me that we care more about someone's opinion than about a bad economy or people suffering. What also bugs me is that the same people who are trying to go full riot on the entire company would of been throwing the CEO a parade had he said he agreed with gay marriage.
Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but I point those things out because the media, including the Internet, began to assume things about the CEO and his company from his one answer. Before you could really have a chance to know what happened, there were protestors, supporters, YouTube videos, posts on Facebook, pages across all other websites, and just an all around explosion over something that should not of been THIS big of a deal. Now perhaps it could of caused some backlash because that happens whenever you stand by your beliefs, but what is happening here is just ridiculous. This isn't the first time that the media has elevated something far beyond what it should of been. What I'm wanting people to do is to become educated on what exactly is the big deal. Some situations are so big of a deal that educated won't calm things down, but it will hopefully cause people to be more thoughtful with what they say in response. An example is that instead of automatically labeling someone a bigot, see what their true beliefs are. Also, ask yourself this one question; is my going around and name calling and judging not the EXACT same thing I'm accusing the other side of? Does perhaps tolerance mean that I have to be ok with people who don't think the same way I do? (I sure hope the answer to that question is obvious)
So in summary, educate yourself over a situation before getting sucked in the latest bandwagon issue. I won't lie, an issue may be a big deal, but a person should decide that for themselves before going around mudslinging and bashing with secondhand knowledge.
Now, the reason I am tired of all sides in politics is due to the fact that both sides are exactly the same. I know this sounds like blasphemy to people on either side because "I can't be like them!" and that kind of helps in proving my point. Both sides are so bent on being so different, if not the exact opposite, that all they ended up doing is having the exact same stories, just conveniently switching some of the dialogue or circumstances so it fits with their agenda. The biggest way I've seen this is when you ask them why things are in the current state they're in. Their explanations will nearly be identical except for who the ultimate person responsible for the situation is. For two sides claiming to be intellectual, they sure aren't living up to that moniker.
The true irony from the division comes from what George Washington said after his 2 terms as President ended. He warned against political parties because they would divide the nation. He looks like a prophet cause American History is full of division due to political parties, and it only worsens today now that people have flocked to the Internet as a new means of pushing their ideals down other people's throat. (Both sides are guilty of this) Political parties, to be fair, are necessary because the people running for election have to have a backing of some kind, but my focus is how divided it makes everyone as compared to what the parties should be doing; working together towards the same goal.
Now I mention the media because they will turn a story that is no big deal into the biggest thing to happen since Jesus Christ came down to Earth. I do put a big amount of blame on the media itself because they are the ones that make the stories, but I believe the majority of the blame goes upon the people because if they didn't tune in, the ratings would go down, and the media would move onto something else. I say media instead of the news because the Internet does fall under the umbrella term of media and the Internet is just as, if not more, guilty than any news outlet. The biggest, and most recent example, is the whole Chick-fil-a fiasco. The CEO of the company gets asked a simple question, gives a simple answer, and now he is being accused of hate crimes like this is the second coming of Westboro Baptist Church.
Now I don't know how people have been raised, I can only truly vouch for myself, but growing up I was taught that you don't assume things about people. There are 2 simple reasons for this: 1. You wouldn't want the same thing being done to you, 2. You end up turning someone into something they aren't. The sad thing is that is exactly what people have done to not just the CEO, but to everyone that works at Chick-fil-a period. Simple employees have been labeled bigots, homophobes, and other far meaner things depending on their gender. As much as I roll my eyes at this entire situation, it also bugs me that we care more about someone's opinion than about a bad economy or people suffering. What also bugs me is that the same people who are trying to go full riot on the entire company would of been throwing the CEO a parade had he said he agreed with gay marriage.
Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but I point those things out because the media, including the Internet, began to assume things about the CEO and his company from his one answer. Before you could really have a chance to know what happened, there were protestors, supporters, YouTube videos, posts on Facebook, pages across all other websites, and just an all around explosion over something that should not of been THIS big of a deal. Now perhaps it could of caused some backlash because that happens whenever you stand by your beliefs, but what is happening here is just ridiculous. This isn't the first time that the media has elevated something far beyond what it should of been. What I'm wanting people to do is to become educated on what exactly is the big deal. Some situations are so big of a deal that educated won't calm things down, but it will hopefully cause people to be more thoughtful with what they say in response. An example is that instead of automatically labeling someone a bigot, see what their true beliefs are. Also, ask yourself this one question; is my going around and name calling and judging not the EXACT same thing I'm accusing the other side of? Does perhaps tolerance mean that I have to be ok with people who don't think the same way I do? (I sure hope the answer to that question is obvious)
So in summary, educate yourself over a situation before getting sucked in the latest bandwagon issue. I won't lie, an issue may be a big deal, but a person should decide that for themselves before going around mudslinging and bashing with secondhand knowledge.
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